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Relationships: 

An Energy Exchange

I look at everything in my life as magickal. Every day we manifest our destinies with our intentions, beliefs, and desires. If this is true, why would our relationships be any different? Often, when choosing a mate in our society, we look at a number of things, not the least of which is our desire for and attraction to them. Aside from that, we will look at other attributes, such as family, social status, belief systems, sense of humor, and drive. Usually the people make sense for us, but sometimes, we are drawn to someone who doesn’t make sense for us  at all, and we can’t quite put our finger on why. This is an energetic attraction at its most recognizable.

I can’t tell you how many people I have spoken with in my 20+ years doing readings who have met someone they are just confused by. They may not fall into the right social class, they may be someone they wouldn’t normally be attracted to, or they may have passions and beliefs that don’t align with their own. But something about those people draws them in and they find themselves on a whole new playing field. Because we usually try to create relationships that make sense, we find ourselves out of our comfort zones when we step into a purely energetic or spiritual relationship. We find stronger and more intense connections than we may be used to. We find ourselves opening up to our intuition and letting it guide us. It brings us into an entirely new level of being.


Whether you are experiencing a confusing attraction, or just want to learn more about the relationships in your life, knowing that energy is the basis for all of our relationships can help. Anytime we enter into a relationship with someone else we are creating an energetic bond, and therefore an energetic exchange. Exchange may be physical - money, property, material stability, physical pleasure. It may be mental - intellectual stimulation, amazing discussions, sharing ideas and information. It may be spiritual - the fulfillment of something unseen. Or it may be a mix of the three. There is always give and take, though it may not always be equal.


To get the most out of our energetic bonds and exchanges, we must first understand what is happening and where our energy is going. As I said before, energies come in many forms, so if you are exploring your relationships, look at where the give and take is. This is a completely neutral exercise, so try not to assign blame or value. As humans, we tend to assign value to everything - a completely natural, and usually helpful, thing to do. But in this instance it will actually do you some good to withhold judgement until later. What do you bring to the relationship? What do they bring in? Are there demands for time, attention, or energy, and if so, from who and in what areas? Would these fall into the Physical category? Mental? Spiritual? Every person has their “stuff” they are working on in this life. Best case, we hook up with others who compliment what we are working through and we can work through things together. Often though, even when we have found complimentary workmates, we find we ourselves working at odds with others in our lives. This exercise can help you see where your lessons mesh and where you may work better together. Likewise, it can help you see one-sided relationships in your life, where maybe one of you is giving far more than the other.


Another form of relationship energy exchange is the purposeful use of intimacy to create or raise energy for the purpose of exchanging it with the other person, or to aim it in a magickal working as a unified force. Both of these practices are referred to as sex magick, but for the purposes of this article, we will look at the exchange aspect of this practice. Regardless of your energetic exchange cycle in everyday life, the purposeful exchange of energy can be done by anyone and is usually very beneficial when done with someone you truly desire to roll energy with. The only thing to be careful of here is practicing this with someone who just wants to take your energy. If you don’t feel excited about it, don’t do it. If you feel exhausted just thinking about it, don’t do it! There are energy vampires in the world and some of them don’t even realize what they're doing. They don’t need to be demonized, but you do need to protect your energy from them. I will be following this article with an article all about the practice of purposeful energy exchange. There is too much to cram in here, so keep an eye out! There are also many other articles and books on this subject if you want to do a little digging (or Googling, as the case may be!)


Overall, noticing and learning about the different energies in our relationships, and in the people we care for, can help us have healthier relationships and exchanges. Do you feel energy from others? How do you handle the energetic exchanges in your life?


See you next time!

~ Adrienne